Christmas Excursion: A Justin & Clara Adventure

Justin fiddled with a spoon on the table, staring at nothing in the real world. His thoughts wandered from one idea to the next. What if I just flipped this spoon? How loud would the crash be? Could it fly into the multiverse and disappear? What about all the wrapping paper over there? If I shred it into a million little pieces, would it look like snow to the carpet mites? What would happen if I just walked out of the room? Would anyone notice? One of the cats might.

He winced. Mom would notice, and then she’d make me feel guilty afterward. But they’re not doing anything! Justin had a clear view of the living room and kitchen from the dining room, and he took advantage of it to look at his family without moving from his warm seat. That’s the benefit of open floor plans. He snickered. Clara hates open floor plans. She likes having everything in separate places.

He straightened his back. I wonder what Clara is doing. He shook his head. Nah, I can’t bother her while she’s with her family. He looked at his brother in the corner of the living room playing video games on the small TV. His eyes scanned to his dad sitting at the big TV on the opposite end of the room watching sports. Justin’s mom lounged on the couch, scrolling on her phone. He pulled his own phone from his pocket and texted Clara: Merry Christmas!

Slipping his phone back in his pocket, he turned his attention back to the spoon. He pushed it across the table, watching the ceiling pass along its reflective surface, expanding and shrinking with the spoon’s shape. His pocket vibrated and Justin pulled out his phone.

Clara: Hey! Merry Christmas!
Justin: Whatcha up to?
Clara: Not much. You?
Justin: Same.

He stared at his phone a moment; he hated small talk texting. I should just call her, right? I’d have to leave the room of course… His eyes shifted to his mom and back. Maybe I should keep texting. He huffed, then quickly typed, “I wish I could be with you.”

His thumb hovered over the button to send. Is that too sentimental? Justin’s thumb began to shake. Anyone else, maybe. But… It’s Clara, for crying out loud!

He hit send.

“No, wait!” he said out loud.

“Everything okay, Justin?” his mom asked.

“Fine,” he groaned, accepting his fate. “Hey, uh, Mom, since everyone is doing their own thing, do you mind if I go up to my room?”

His mom looked up from her phone. The look of shock in her eyes wavered his hope for escape. He initiated his irresistible puppy dog eyes in response. She looked at his dad and said, “Dear, Justin wants to know if he can go to his room.”

Justin looked at his dad. He didn’t answer.

“Carl!”
“What?”
“Justin wants to go to his room.”
Justin’s dad half waved his hand. “Eh.” Justin’s mom rolled her eyes and nodded her approval.

Justin held back a smile and paced himself up the stairs so he wouldn’t look too eager. He gently closed his door and then jumped onto his bed, lying flat on his back, then looked at his phone. He’d received another text: Aww! I wish I could see you, too. Maybe next year we can meet up somewhere for Christmas.

Justin powered off the screen. “I don’t want to wait till next year to spend Christmas with you,” he said out loud. “I want to spend Christmas with you now.” He turned over on his stomach. “If I could make a door of nowhere, I can make a door to you. I just have to concentrate.”

Justin closed his eyes and imagined Clara—her short, soft, bouncy blond hair, her little button nose, her sky-blue eyes that always knew what he was thinking and feeling before he did. He thought about her laugh, exasperated sigh, and focused glare when she studied and he was being annoying. He always said she had better grades because of the way he teased her. She retorted that he would have better grades if he studied like she did. He simply said, “Who’s going to help you focus?”

Justin closed his eyes and said, “The door to Clara is a fine door of the most exquisite wood. It’s painted over in pale baby blue with simple pink, yellow, and white flowers at the bottom, nestled in bright green grass. The handle is just the right height for her hand. It’s made of blue crystal and silver hardware.”

He turned over on his side and saw the door standing in his room. He stood and faced the door, reaching for the handle, but stopped short of touching it. I don’t know where she lives. He looked at the phone in his other hand. I could ask for her address. But…

“This is the Door to Clara,” he said confidently. “It knows where she is, and it will take me to her… please?

He pulled on the handle and opened the door. He never expected to see a vast land of sand. He closed it back, shut his eyes, and said, “No. To Clara. To Clara Higgins. My… my friend.”

He opened it again. Still just sand. He took a deep breath. Surely I can walk back through to get home if this goes wrong.

Stepping through, Justin felt instant heat. He welcomed it at first. It was twenty-five and snowing at home, his mom didn’t like turning the heater very high, and she’d turned off the oven a couple of hours ago. The heat quickly became too much, though, thanks to his Christmas sweater.

Justin faced the door and saw a small house behind it. The only house around, it stood with white chipping walls and covered windows. Justin decided he’d come this far—he might as well knock. No one answered. He put an ear to the door. Is that snoring?

He knocked again. This time he heard feet shuffle to the door. There was a peephole, and he wondered if the person on the other side was looking through it. He smiled his best, but he felt dumb doing it.

The handle clicked unlocked and the door cracked open, revealing Clara’s blue eyes. He started to say her name, but she pushed him back and stepped outside, quickly and quietly closing the door behind her. She pushed him a few feet from the house before saying, “What are you doing here? How did you find me?”

“I uh… made another magic door?”

“Another magic—“ Clara stopped when she saw the door standing in the middle of her… lawn. Justin couldn’t think of anything else to call the sand around her house.

He buried his hands into his pockets with a tiny shrug. “It’s the Door to Clara.”

He could see so many different thoughts pass across her face, yet he couldn’t discern a single one. After a moment, she crossed her arms and leaned on one leg. “You made a door to me?”

Justin smirked. “Yeah.”

She rolled her eyes with a smile. “Why?”

“Because I wanted to see you for Christmas. But I didn’t expect to find you—“

“Living in the desert with my uncle?”

“Your uncle?”

Clara’s arms moved from crossing over her chest to wrapping around the other . Her gaze dropped as she said, “I haven’t told you everything about my home life.”

“Hey,” he put a finger to her chin and lifted it. “You don’t have to. That’s not for me to know, that’s for you to keep private or share whenever you want. Right now, though… do you think you would be missed if we went on a little Christmas excursion?”

Clara glanced back at the house. The snores had gotten louder. “I suppose not.”

“Great. How about you go get your coat—I know you have one, you’ve worn it at school—and I’ll make a new door.”

“Okay!” Clara rushed to get her coat, and Justin thought about Christmas in New York City. The lights, the trees, the snow… it was all so beautiful, and just what Clara would need. Maybe next year they could visit London or some other place, but he wanted to start out somewhere they would be a little familiar with. After all, they’d watched plenty of movies set in New York together. And if the door stopped working, they wouldn’t be in a foreign country. Yes, New York was it.

Clara came out to find a telephone booth. “I don’t think those still exist,” she said.
“Good. We’ll be able to find our way back easier.”
“Won’t someone else see it?”
“No one will see. I’ve decided to put magic on both doors.”
“You can really do that?”
“It’s Christmas,” Justin said with a wink. “You gotta believe anything’s possible. Especially for my best friend.”

Justin saw Clara blush for the first time since he’d known her. “I’ve called you that before, haven’t I?” he asked. She shook her head with a shy smile. He took her hand in his and said, “Well, you are my best friend. Forever and always.”

Clara’s shy smile turned into a bright grin. “Forever and always,” she whispered.

“Let’s go!” he pulled her along to the telephone booth. They stepped inside, and snow swirled around them until the desert faded away and they could see the bright lights of New York City appear.


If you would like to read the rest of the story, sign up for my free monthly newsletter. The next part of the story will be released in that special newsletter on Christmas Eve! Follow the adventures of Justin and Clara as they explore New York City on Christmas Day!

Naming a Doorknob

Late blooms the flower
‘Neath the stone archway’s warm shade
Where we all will be

I read the words thinking, “That’s ominous. It started out so nicely… What happened?”

My old professor’s words rang in my ears: “Life is hard, and then you die.” It was mine and my best friend’s favorite phrase—odd but comforting. That’s what this haiku reminded me of.  What it meant, though, was anyone’s guess.

I shifted in the dining room chair, reading it over and over again, trying to understand it. The little dragon on the doorknob had worked so hard to tell it to me; I figured it must be important. I looked at the little guy, nestled sweetly in the metal carnations. He glowed slightly, sending me new thoughts.

“But I have looked at it,” I said.

He glowed, repeating his desire.

I huffed before returning to the poem. Late blooms the flower. I repeated it out loud before deciding to Google “late-blooming flowers.”

“Ugh, there are so many! Okay. What about the second line? Surely it will narrow down my options.”

‘Neath the stone archway’s warm shade.

“What stone archway?”

I wracked my brain so hard to remember if there were any such landmarks nearby.

Where we all will be.

“Where will we all be? And who’s ‘we’? Is it you and me, the neighborhood, the whole world?” The dragon did nothing. “You gave me this poem, and you send me thoughts, but you can’t give me a hint about the answers to this poem? What kind of dragon are you?”

The doorknob glowed bright red, burning my hand. I still couldn’t let it go, and all I could do was shake it.

“Gah! Okay, stop! I’ll figure it out. Geez, you’re mean.”

I walked to the living room and looked out the window, trying to remember everything in my neighborhood. “I’m going to assume that the poem is for anyone. Like, anyone reading this would feel like that’s where we will all end up someday—wait. The cemetery? Are you talking about a cemetery?”

The dragon remained silent.

“Thanks for the help. Good grief. It’s a good thing for you that I know there is a stone archway in the cemetery. So, if we go there, we’ll find the correct flowers.”

The little dragon glowed with delight.

“Why couldn’t you just tell me that?” I said as I rolled my eyes. I didn’t get a response, and I didn’t expect one. I grabbed my keys and took the doorknob to my car. I tried putting on my seatbelt but it was nearly impossible. How was I supposed to drive?

“Hey, uh… Can I please put you down? I can’t hold you forever.”

I felt something. The dragon was attempting more communication.

“Your name? I don’t know your name.”

A few more feelings.

“You want me to guess?” I sighed. “Okay. Fine. Um… Firecracker?”

He glowed a different color. I assumed that wasn’t it.

“Walnut? Steely? You know, because you’re made of metal?” I laughed but quickly stopped when the knob began to heat. “Okay, okay. Um…” I closed my eyes and thought hard, but suddenly I felt like maybe I needed to stop thinking.

I pushed out all my thoughts and simply listened to the silence. Letters began forming in my mind and I said, “Francis?”

I opened my eyes to see delightful glows flourishing over the dragon’s body and the carnations.

“Alright, then, Francis. Can you please let me put you down so I can drive to the archway?” I was able to move my fingers for once, and I put the knob in the passenger seat. “Ah…” I said, stretching my hand. “Thank you. Freedom at last.”

I pulled out of the garage and onto the street. As I drove, I scoffed. “Who would name a dragon Francis anyway?”

I smelled something strange. I peeked at the doorknob and saw smoke coming from the seat. I hit the brakes, which caused the knob to shake. “Stop it!” I yelled, then scanned the car for anything to push the doorknob off the seat with. “Stop! You’re going to set my car on fire! Then you won’t even be around to be helped.”

The doorknob stopped burning, and I moved it to the floorboard, then I splashed water on the passenger seat and got it to stop smoking. “That was rude.”

I picked the doorknob back up and felt the dragon repeat my sentiment. “I just asked a question! You didn’t have to destroy my car!”

The dragon sent indignation, reminding me of my scoff. “Look, I’m sorry I made fun of your name. But that was uncalled for. Why should I even help you now?”

The dragon didn’t glow but flashed. There was an urgency to his communicated feelings. Something worried him, and it scared me. “Okay, I’ll help you. But you can’t burn my things anymore, got it?”

The flashing slowed into a glow once again, and I felt the dragon’s curiosity. “My name?” I asked. The glow disappeared. I began to understand that meant yes. “My name’s Autumn.”

Another delightful glow, and I gave a pleased laugh. “It’s nice to meet you too, Francis.”


This story is a continuation of “The Doorknob“. The Haiku was inspired by a prompt by a member of my flash fiction club, Grace Routon. You can read her stories in each of the Adventuring Together anthologies.

Thankful for Tenth Avenue North

Thanksgiving is tomorrow, and I thought I’d celebrate by showing my gratitude for my favorite music band: Tenth Avenue North! This Christian pop band’s music has been part of my life since I first started listening to them on the radio in 2008. I didn’t really know who they were until I was much older and started recognizing how important music was to me. I started following their career in earnest in 2016. It was around this time I realized their music had helped to shape my beliefs and personality for most of my life.

In 2020, just before the pandemic reached the U.S., the Tenth Avenue North (TAN) announced their retirement, and I was heartbroken. I continued to follow Mike Donehey’s music, which I loved just as much as the original band’s. Just a couple of months ago, TAN announced its return and almost two weeks ago released a new single. In celebration of the band’s return, I am going to discuss some of my favorite TAN songs, the biblical truths they expound, and what they mean in my life.

I’m going to start with one song that many people know but often don’t realize is a Tenth Avenue North song. This is “Worn.” Perhaps one of the most emotionally raw of their music, “Worn” has brought me much peace in moments of pain and heartache. The singer cries out to God, confessing that his hope has been lost and that just breathing on this earth is a struggle. The singer asks God to give him rest, to know struggles end, and that he will never be left alone.

This song always comes to me right when I need it most, and I cry almost every time I listen to it. I have experienced the weight of these lyrics many times, and I know they’re truthful. Being “worn even before the day begins” has been something I struggle with even now. There’s never a clear answer from God within the lyrics for this prayer, but—as Mike has talked about before (part 1 and part 2)—even the Bible has many psalms and prayers of honest pain and regret without a message of hope. Sometimes hopeless, honest lamentations can be just as helpful as words of affirmation.

The song “Hold My Heart” is another powerful confession of difficulties in faith. The song opens with the singer asking God how long he must wait for God to answer his prayers. Many people would see questioning God as a sin, but God isn’t hurt or angered by these questions. Even Jesus asked for his suffering to be taken away (Luke 22:42, Mark 14:36, and Matthew 26:39, 42). Just like Jesus, this song asks God to be near and hold the singer’s heart. It’s a beautiful reminder that even “one voice in a sea of pain” matters to the “Maker of the Stars.”

TAN’s song “Space to Speak” is a song of preparation for vulnerability. The singer knows that he’s spent too much time with the cares of this world to pay attention to God, and it’s taken effect on his soul. He opens himself to listen to what God has to say to him. He invites God to speak into his life, even if it’s just a moment to breathe.

Perhaps my favorite line from any of TAN’s songs comes from “Space to Speak.” It says, “As I wait, it feels like wasting precious time, like perfume poured on the floor; forgive me, Lord.” This confession and asking for forgiveness hit me hard. I know exactly what the singer means. I often feel like my time can be used for so many important, productive activities, but sitting quietly, listening for God to speak when I don’t know if He will doesn’t feel productive. But, if I truly want a good relationship with God, that is exactly something I need to do. Forgive me, Lord, for considering time with You a waste of time.

A song close to my heart is one of TAN’s oldest songs, and probably only known to people who have listened to their debut album, is “Satisfy.” The singer in this song asks God to satisfy him before anything else ever does. It’s a simple yet powerful prayer that I seek to implement in my life regularly. There are many things and temptations in this world that appeal to me, that promise to satisfy my desires, threatening to replace God in my life. Asking God to fill those places with Himself is the best defense I have against sin. The song’s refrain, “You’re beautiful,” reminds me to see God’s true beauty, which nothing in this world can compare to.

One of my favorite songs of worship—which I believe needs to be sung in churches, but I may be biased—is “Hallelujah.” The singer confesses he is sinful, small, and ugly, compared to God’s perfection, powerfulness, and beauty, which can be terrifying to think about. The singer asks how God could love him after all he’s done, and he asks God to hide his sin and help him with his unbelief, much like the father in Mark 9:24. The lyrics praise God for His sacrifice and love. He sings “Hallelujah for the blood of the Lamb that was slain.”

A song that literally pulled me from one of my first bouts with depression is “I Have This Hope.” This song is certainly the most hopeful of TAN’s lamentations. It reminds me of the hope we have in Jesus’s works and the promises of God. If all falls away, if I lose everything, if nothing makes sense, I can cling to the everlasting hope of my Heavenly Father. I can “believe that one day I’ll see Your (God’s) face.”

I clung to this promise when I couldn’t feel joy during the Christmas season, my favorite holiday, which made me sad, contributing to more depression. It was a vicious cycle I couldn’t understand. I heard this song, and a weight was immediately lifted from my soul, and I felt true joy, not just the seasonal kind. It was because of this song that I began following TAN’s journey and listening to all of their wonderful songs, not just what played on the radio.

Before I talk about my favorite TAN song of all time, I’m going to run through some honorable mentions. “I Confess,” is perhaps the most overt of TAN’s confessional songs. The singer says talking to God feels like talking to a stranger, and he wants to change that, and he knows the only way to do so is to confess his sins as they are. “Heaven is Now” is a reminder to Christians that we shouldn’t wait for Heaven to come to live the life that God wants us to. We can live His will now and seek out those who are hurting and introduce God to them so that they will join us in that joyous day.

Beloved” is sung in the first person and includes intimate language, giving the listener a feeling of truly being God’s beloved and chosen bride, as is depicted many times throughout the Bible. “No Shame” is an upbeat celebration of the peace and joy God grants his children. We weren’t created to live with shame, and Jesus’s gift of grace—should we choose to accept it—takes that weight off our shoulders, and that’s something we need to celebrate. Lastly, I have to mention their Christmas album, “Decade the Halls.” Each track is wonderful. That’s it for the honorable mentions. Now for my favorite TAN song.

From Tenth Avenue North’s debut album comes a song of discourse between God and His children. It’s called “Times.” The song begins with the singer confessing to needing God, wanting to see Him, to feel Him, but when He’s near, the singer fears Him. He has done so much wrong, how can He keep forgiving? The second half of the song is affirmation after affirmation, promise after promise. The singer says he hears God saying that He will always be there, no matter what, even when temptations run awry and doubt enters the singer’s heart.

This song’s lyrics contain the album title it’s part of: “My love is over, its underneath, its inside, its in between.” God’s love is penetrating and all-consuming. It’s perhaps a wordier, if not more comprehensible, version of Jesus’s words in John 14:20. The chorus is a simple “Oh, oh” refrain, allowing the listener time to meditate on the truth and depth of the song’s verses. It’s a soft and gentle tune, allowing us to experience the sweetness of God’s love, which “never ends.”

On November 10th, 2023, Tenth Avenue North released its first new single since their return titled “Suddenly,” and honestly, it’s the perfect comeback. It encapsulates all of TAN’s personality traits. It’s confessional, joyful, and filled with praise. God’s forgiveness and promises can bring sudden change and peace, and it’s worth celebrating. Not to mention, the title reflects the way we TAN fans feel about the band’s return. Suddenly, they’re back!

You have no idea how hard it was to choose only the songs above to discuss. I love so many of their songs, and each of them contains special messages. They are raw, honest, and different from most Christian songs I hear. They speak the words of my heart and remind me of God’s truth and character. They’re not afraid to question God or end their laments without hope, and that’s a freeing way to deal with overwhelming hurt. In the end, the songs always cling to God’s promises. I hope these songs will help you to have joy in the Lord as they have me. You can listen to all their songs for free on their YouTube channel.

Happy Thanksgiving!

~ Beth

P.S. The cover photo are all of TAN’s albums I own. I need to get the rest, but these are my top favorites.

Remembering Growth

Can you believe we are at the end of October? This year has absolutely flown by, and now there are only two months left in 2023. Do you ever take time to look back and reflect on the past? I love looking back on history, but lately looking back on my personal life is becoming more difficult to do. It feels like I have fewer good things to remember than when I was younger, but I know if I took the time to really think about it, I could find many good things I’ve experienced during this year.

You might be thinking it’s a bit early to be going through a “year-end review,” and I am inclined to agree, but November is the month of giving thanks. What better way to prepare than by remembering good things to be thankful for? Plus, practicing gratitude now just might help us make these last two months the best of the year. So, how do we practice gratitude mindfully? Well, I’m going to figure that out as I write this post. I invite you to join me as you read, and maybe we’ll figure it out together.

Photo by Vie Studio on Pexels.com

First, I want to find one big thing about each month. In January, I started my final semester in college, and I turned 27. I remember feeling distraught about graduation and still being single. There wasn’t anything I could do about those “problems,” but they lead my thoughts to the month of May. I know that’s a five-month time jump, but a stream of consciousness can be healthy when looking back.

I graduated college on May 6th, 2023, a day I’d dreaded for a year. After seeking professional help, praying a lot, and being honest with my friends, I was able to enjoy and celebrate that day. One small moment that helped me happened the night before: my roommate gave me a graduation card. It was signed by some of my closest friends, each leaving a message of endearment, expressing the same love to me I had shown them.

A short time later, I told one of those friends that I was thankful for all the delays in my life because they had led me to meet these wonderful people. That person told me she was so proud of me for being able to look back on my life with gratitude. I didn’t even realize that’s what I was doing, and I felt so much joy. Sometimes I still feel impatient and am tempted to complain about life not happening like I wanted, but I’m far more content than I was a year ago, and that’s worth celebrating.

Wow! All of that just because I thought about January! I wonder what would happen if I kept going. Let’s see, I don’t remember much about February. I think I published with my flash fiction club, but nothing else is coming to mind. I was probably stressing about homework. Haha! I could say the same about March, honestly. And that’s okay. Sometimes big things don’t happen every month. I know if I looked through my calendar and messages, I’d find lots of little events, good and bad. I encourage you to do that in your own time later. For now, I’m sticking to the bigger things.

Photo by Polina Zimmerman on Pexels.com

Next up is April. I remember April being a very stressful time. It was the last month of the semester, I was behind on almost all of my schoolwork, and both my parents were celebrating their birthdays. I spent late nights in the library working, and I even broke down crying in Starbucks where I was hanging out with some friends. They comforted me and we listened to the library storytime together while eating cookies. I remember how loved I felt, and I knew I didn’t want to be anywhere else at that moment.

I’ve already touched on May. Besides graduation, I moved out of my apartment, I got to see my grandparents from Arizona for a couple of days, and inspiration for A Week in Galerod struck me at random, and I began writing veraciously. I also began searching for a job and actually trusting God with my post-graduation life. May had a lot going on, both stressful and good, and many of my current activities got their start in May.

Next up, June. It wasn’t a terrible month, but it wasn’t good. I don’t remember a whole lot about that month except I filled out a lot of job applications and kept writing. July was a bit more chaotic since my dad spent almost two weeks in the hospital and I started a new job. The fact that we all survived the hospital stay and I’m employed are good things to be thankful for.

August brought sorrow as my new reality became apparent to me. My friends returned to college and I was not there with them. Both August and September were emotionally rough months, but we continued to keep in contact and find new ways to spend time together. I finished training in September, and now I’m working hard as a reading tutor (am I training the next generation of Beth Freemont fans? Maybe. 😉😆).

Photo by Judit Peter on Pexels.com

And here we are, October. This was going to be an exciting month. I was going to publish A Week in Galerod, I had so many plans for advertising, I was supposed to be driving a car, I was supposed to be doing so many things. Instead, I have a delayed publication, I still haven’t learned how to drive, I’m behind on what feels like everything, and I was sick for a week. However, I got to celebrate two of my friends’ birthdays, meet my pseudo-niece, and join my old college writing club for its annual 24-hour lock-in (the reason I was sick for a week 😏).

Every month has setbacks, celebrations, and growth opportunities. I mean, even though I didn’t make my publication deadline, I’ve learned so much about my writing and how to handle feedback, and I learned to never set a publication date while I’m still working on draft one. I’m feeling good about my life right now, even with all the challenges. Still, I do have many days where I struggle to be content and patient. I’m learning to embrace both the good and the bad (kind of like Ursula in the short story I shared last week).

I hope you can do the same. I pray that we will both embrace the last two months of 2023 with contentment and patience. There is still so much in store for us—our own little adventures to take. Maybe that’s how I should always look at my life: the mini adventures of Beth Freemont. The same can be said for you: the mini adventures of [insert your name]!

Until next time!

-Beth

P.S. Yes, I had to push back the publication date for A Week in Galerod. I do not yet have a new date planned since I still have so much to do. But, you can receive the latest updates about this and many other things by joining my newsletter. In fact, my subscribers found out about the delay two weeks ago, four days before the infamous missed deadline. If you’d like to be in the loop, subscribe to my newsletter today. It’s free! When you sign up, remember to confirm your email address in the confirmation email sent to you immediately following your sign-up. Thank you!

Light and Dark: Part 2

To know the dark is to know the deepest part of yourself. You can’t appreciate light’s beauty without understanding the dark’s ugliness. What light is in you is not completely of yourself, but neither is the dark. To know yourself is to know everything and everyone who came before you, and will live after you, all who possess light and dark. This means embracing the good and the bad, never shutting out one for the other. These are the things you will need to know as you go through life, Ursula. Never forget them.

Ursula closed the note and put it back into its worn envelope. She took a deep breath as she pressed the yellowed paper to her chest. It’d been ten years since she’d heard the voice of the letter’s author. Ten years had passed since he gave himself up so that she, his granddaughter, could get away. She tucked the envelope back into her bodice, the safest place for it. Always keeping it close reminded Ursula what he wanted her to know. That knowledge was the reason she still lived—why she kept fighting.

The Oppressors had ignored all the old man’s words and embraced the dark in place of the light. They knew darkness too well, and the Oppressed ignored it completely. But Ursula, she held onto both. She dared not let go of the light and become like those who destroyed her family, and she refused to ignore the dark for fear of becoming a victim.

“A lot of good that did me,” she scoffed. “The oppressed are outside with loved ones while I’m shut up in a forgotten storage room.”

Ursula leaned her head against the stone wall. One locked door and no windows—only darkness. She closed her eyes.

“If I can embrace the darkness here, I can do it anywhere.”

“I told you so.”

Ursula’s ears twitched at the sounds. She looked around, hoping to catch a glimpse of the person who said it. “You’ve really lost it,” she said to herself. “There’s no one here.”

She lied down, knowing it was just her her mind playing tricks. Those words were what she knew Jason would’ve said if he could see her now, and she smirked to think of it. He’d told her the last mission was dangerous and that she wasn’t ready for it. He was right. She was caught and locked away. But still, the thought of Jason comforted her as it reminded her she was not alone anymore. Resistors were gathering, people who sought balance between light and dark, like she did. They would come for her—she just had to survive.

Five days later

Ursula opened her eyes again. Embracing both dark and light meant accepting her predicament and maintaining hope. She wished hand tools were lying around she could pry apart the wood door with, but she’d scouted the whole place twenty times by now. Her body was the only thing in the room. The walls were solid stone, and the floor was made of compact dirt.

But, it was a new day, meaning it was time to pace the room, building to a run, and leveling out to a trot, then slowing to a walk again. “Always moving,” Jason had said once. It was true, Ursula rarely sat or stayed in the same place for long. That’s why she was a field agent instead of a spy. She could always be on the move when she didn’t have to pretend to be content. Move. Maybe… the stone walls could move. After all, this place was old and the mortar between the stones might have loosened.

Ursula dug her feet into the floor and pushed on various points of the wall that she could reach. Her arms shook with each attempt to find a weak point. But the only weakness she found was her own. No one had come to her since she was locked up, meaning she’d had no food or water for five days, and Ursula’s strength failed her.

She refused to give up. She tested every inch of the wall. Once, her hands slipped, and the stone cut them as she fell down, slamming her jaw into the ground. Tears stung her eyes as her hands dripped. Ursula cradled her hands a moment, then stood again. She pushed her shoulder against the wall, refusing to let her minor injuries stop her from escaping. All she could think about was escaping and finding water.

She continued on for half a wall before a stone shifted. Adrenaline took over and she shoved with everything she had. Her feet dug deep into the dirt floor, turning to mud with her sweat. She pushed more still, her hands turning to mush. Ursula’s feet suddenly stopped, causing her hands to buckle. She fell to the floor, curled her feet in, and pushed out again, searching for relief from the spasms.

She squirmed in place for several minutes before reaching for the place where her feet failed her. Ursula’s sore muscles and torn hands forced involuntary groans and shouts as she felt hardwood buried below the dirt. She ran her hand across the surface and felt cool metal. she pulled up on it, revealing a smuggler’s hatch. It was a small hole, but Ursula figured if anyone could steal goods from here through that hole, she could fit. She reluctantly climbed in, hoping it led outside.

Claustrophobia was an unfamiliar feeling that became all too real as the fear of getting stuck and dying before reaching the surface plagued Ursula. Breathing became a struggle and tears drenched the dirt around her. She couldn’t stop them—specks of dirt burned the open wounds of her hands as she climbed. She closed her eyes. “Embrace the dark,” she whispered between sobs. “I’m here. Accept it.” The tunnel stopped going down and began moving up, giving Ursula hope, “I will get out. That’s the light.” She pushed through the tunnel’s deteriorated sides, forcing her way higher.

Something cold touched her shoulders, and Ursula stopped moving. She couldn’t decide if it was a worm, spider, or snake, but it did move. She ignored it and kept moving. “Embrace the dark,” she repeated a few more times. “The faster I move, the faster I can get away from whatever that is.” Peace surged through her and she whispered, “Now push toward the light.”

Minutes passed, and Ursula’s head hit a wall of dirt. Was she at the top? Why wasn’t there another door or a simple hole? Her chest tightened. There had to be a way out. She couldn’t be stuck here. She’d come too far. Ursula dug her nails into the dirt, clawing hard and fast. The ceiling began caving in, burying her. She stopped to brush the dirt from her nose and mouth, breathing in what air she could. What if she turned back now? Could she make it where there was unlimited air? Maybe someone would open the door, or she could try the wall again.

Ursula wriggled and squirmed and pushed. She couldn’t move. Hyperventilating, her tears choked her. She was stuck. Digging only made it worse. But, what else was she to do? She called out for help, hoping someone, anyone, even Oppressors, would hear. Her head beginning to spin, Ursula dug at the ceiling more, pushing the dirt from her mouth and nose every few seconds. She dug and scratched and pushed, but her body refused to move upward. With the collapsing ceiling, the hole got smaller.

A large clump of dirt fell at once, covering Ursula’s face and compacting her arms upright. She could feel the wind, but she couldn’t breathe in any of it. Unable to bend her arms, Ursula slowly began to suffocate, her tears caking the dirt around her eyes. This was never how she was supposed to die.

Her hands turned to pins and needles. She wiggled her fingers, but it only made them worse. Her legs numbed and her chest heaved, causing more dirt to fall through her nose, stinging inside. Ursula wished the end would come faster and relieve her pain.

She tried to think of someplace else, someplace peaceful as her last thought, but something like a thousand frozen knives raged through her arms, and she couldn’t find the air to scream. Her torso slid upward. The dirt over her mouth shifted so she could cough. Ursula’s ears twitched with high-toned vibrations. Her hands and arms roared once more as her body seemed to sprout wings and fly to the surface. Light broke through the dirt and her lungs struggled to catch the air.

After a few moments of painful chest compressions, awakening her nerves, Ursula was able to breathe on her own. She opened her eyes to see Jason and other Resistors kneeling around her head. Jason took her hand. “You’re safe now,” he said. “We’ve got you.” Ursula managed a smile before her eyes closed for a rejuvenating sleep.

Light & Dark: Part 1

The place was unfamiliar to Ursula, yet the four-thousand-year-old church toward over the ashes of a broken city, an old sight to her eyes. She couldn’t help but notice the juxtaposition between the peaceful images within her refuge and the bloody raid without; it caused her head to pound. There was no time to appreciate the ancient beauty. People were dying, and Ursula had to act fast.

Jason saw her stance stiffen, readying to dart into the open and fight the raiders head-on. “Don’t do it,” he said.

She shook her head. “I can’t just stand by and watch.”

He put his hand on her shoulder. “Stand by and watch today, and you’ll have a chance to make it right tomorrow.”

She pulled away. “By tomorrow it will be too late for someone. I have to do this now.”

“Ursula, this isn’t the mission, and you’re not ready. It’s too dangerous.”

She took off. Ursula didn’t care if Jason had her back or not, she had to take action. She scooped up a few children from the streets and placed them in safer places. She circled around and took out two Oppressors with her scimitar before using their blasters against three more. Jason sprinted past Ursula and she smiled when he punched an Oppressor and shot another.

The two of them were the only Resistors in the area, up against twenty Oppressors and dozens of the Oppressed to keep out of the crossfire. Ursula and Jason were just supposed to gather supplies, not stop a raid. But Ursula knew the raiders’ hunger had no bounds, even their hunger for life. Now she’d gotten them into a deadly skirmish, and she appreciated the significance of Jason’s refusal to let her fight alone.

One by one, Oppressors fell, and soon twenty more replaced the original set. Ursula had trained with the Resistors for months, but now, it wasn’t enough. She shot one Oppressor and kicked another before ramming him into the unstable remains of a house. The falling stones impressed new bruises and scratches on her arms. She turned to the open street just in time to save a crouching young man with a shot of her blaster.

If only the Oppressed would join the fight, she thought. As she dodged the attack of another raider, she could hear her father’s words from long ago: “They embrace too much light, never enough darkness. They’re afraid of it, just as the Oppressors fear the light.”

Ursula’s blaster overheated, burning her fingers, and she threw it away. She took hold of a crystal from a deserted merchant’s stand and used it to reflect the raider’s blaster shot back at him. “That’s… what you get… for being afraid of the light,” she said breathlessly.

Five enemy fighters surrounded her at once as she lost sight of Jason. Ursula stood her ground, swaying in pain, clinching her scimitar. She searched the faces around her. The civilians she’d saved stood by and watched, some hugging their loved ones. Her head pounded and her arms dripped red. She dropped her weapon, fell to her knees, and put her hands behind her head. “Survive to fight another day,” she whispered.

The Oppressors put Ursula in chains and forced her to her feet. She scanned the faces around her desperately for Jason. Had he abandoned her? She refused to believe it. He always said it was better to return with reinforcements. After all, it’s what he’d said when she jumped into this mess, wasn’t it? He would save her. She just had to hold on.

6 Months in Galerod

Have you ever had a story just come to you from the depths of your soul, but you didn’t realize its origin until much later? Well, that’s what happened to me. The day was Friday, May 12th, 2023. I was listening to the same music I always do, but for some reason, that night, the lyrics spoke to me differently than they usually do, and a whole story sprung to life in my mind.

I could see it: three girls were walking together in the twilight, laughing and enjoying each other’s company. One of them stopped to daydream about going away somewhere large and grand, somewhere different from their tiny town in the middle of nowhere. She wanted to find handsome men to dance reels with. Of course, the other two girls were the voice of reason, chiding her for being so unseemly.

The girl didn’t care what her friends thought. In fact, she tried to convince them to come with her. One was firm on not going, but the other was swayed. Just before they were supposed to leave, the dreamer fell in love with someone right there in her small town, and she decided to stay. Her friend she convinced to travel with her still wanted to go on this trip, so the third friend decided to go with her and keep her out of trouble. They would have many adventures along the way, and girl two would fall in love, deciding to stay in the new place. Meanwhile, girl three also fell in love, but her heart was broken by that man, and she was going to end the story realizing her self-worth and the beauty of waiting for true love.

Pretty interesting, right? That was everything; all of that came to my mind like a bowling ball making a strike. I began searching for names, making character portraits, finding more songs as inspiration, putting together a playlist, brainstorming more scenes, and eight days later, I began writing the first draft. The words flew onto the page with furry. Characters I had yet to think of manifested from thin air. Personalities developed and ran wild. Soon enough, most of the story had changed. Suddenly all three friends were traveling together, plus two other characters, one who didn’t exist until chapter two.

I had to stop and reevaluate where this story was going. After a day or two, I regained control, forming a partnership between my inspiration and my logic. Every day I wrote 2,000 or more words. The chapters ranged between 1,500 to 3,000 words each. I hit a groove, and they became consistently 2,000 words each. Six weeks later, on June 30th, I completed draft one of A Week in Galerod, stopping at 33,969 words.

I had never written a story that long that quickly. I knew instantly this was a special story. I didn’t realize until I finished draft two that the story reflected my thoughts and feelings about graduating college, leaving my friends, moving home, and finding a job. The ending events of the story were almost the way I wish my life could go, but metaphorically, it is how my life is going.

I don’t want to give you exact details, that would spoil the story for you, and I would hate to spoil it for you. Now you’re probably wondering why I told you all that if I don’t want to spoil it. I’m glad you asked. It’s because this story holds a special place in my heart, and I wanted to share a glimpse into why. I can’t express enough just how much excitement is seeping from me. It’s too much and I have to release some of the pressure. But I also have exciting news to accompany this exposition.

A Week in Galerod has successfully passed through beta readers, and I am starting draft four (maybe five, I lost count) this week! You might be interested to know that the feedback was wonderfully positive! There are some places that still need some smoothing out, but it’s almost there! Squeals into a pillow. Seriously, I cannot wait for you to read it!

I plan to have this book ready to sell on Saturday, October 21st, 2023*, but you can read it for free if you sign up for my monthly newsletter! When you sign up, You’ll also get exclusive content and the latest updates, as well as cover and other content reveals before I post them to my socials. The next email will be sent out on Friday, October 6th! If you sign up now, you’ll receive the book blurb and advanced cover reveal, both of which will not go live on social media until October 17th! On the 21st, you will receive a link to your free ebook copy of A Week in Galerod. Remember to confirm your address when you sign up so you receive all the emails!

Thank you for choosing to join me on this journey. I can’t wait for you to read this story. Be sure to come back for a new short story this Friday, the 29th. While you wait for that, leave a comment about a time when inspiration struck you and you couldn’t help but follow its every whim. Also, be sure to check out my Instagram to learn more about the songs that helped to inspire A Week in Galerod. Until next time!

-Beth

*Due to unforeseen events, the publication date of A Week in Galerod has been postponed. The new publication date is TBD. Thank you for your patience.

Stories Attack

Justin sat at the library table, the one place he found comfort when he felt down. Being surrounded by piles and piles of books filled with faraway stories and tidy endings was his favorite feeling. Clara tapped him on the shoulder. He didn’t even realize she had sat down.

“You alright?” she asked.

Justin groaned as he dropped his head into his crossed arms, lying on the table.

“What happened?”

“Kayla dumped me.”

“What is that, like your fourth one in two years?”

Justin’s head shot straight up. “Celia doesn’t count. We had one dinner.”

“Kayla makes four.”

Justin dropped again.

“You refused to take the blame for something, didn’t you?” Clara asked knowingly.

Justin turned his head sideways so his mouth was free to move. “Is it my fault the stove in the girls’ dorm gets hotter than the one in the boys’?”

“Really?”

“After all, she’s the one that left me unattended.”

“Justin!”

Before Justin could react, everyone in the library hushed them.

Clara whispered, “Can we please go somewhere we can actually talk?”

Justin said as he turned his face back into his arms, “Just leave me alone.”

Clara stood up. “Come on.” She tugged on his arm, making his face hit the table.

“Hey!” Justin snapped.

They got more shushes.

Justin groaned and followed Clara.

They walked to his dorm and sat in their usual places, Justin in the chair and Clara on the bed. He didn’t have enough room for another chair, and he sure wasn’t going to let Clara sit on the one with no cushion.

“Why do you never admit to being the one at fault? It’s the reason you’re single… again.”

Justin crossed his arms. “Not everything is my fault.”

“Like what?”

“Like the fact I can’t bring us into another story.”

“How is that not your fault?”

“Because you don’t believe it can happen again. I can’t work with a doubter.”

Clara crossed her arms. “I believed the first two attempts. It’s the third time I stopped. It’s all on you.”

Justin dropped once more.

Clara added, “Besides, who ever heard of stories coming to life?”

“Stories themselves don’t come to life, you doubter. That’s a different concept altogether.”

“Alright, tell me. What is it like for stories to come to life?”

“Well…” Justin thought hard. He could see it in his mind, but how to describe it eluded him. “Well, you see, the difference is the things that come alive are the elements in the story. The people, the-the animals, the objects. The stories themselves are everything all at once. Maybe…” Justin felt like he was losing the argument, but he wasn’t going to admit it. “It depends on the format of the story.”

“The format?” Clara asked incredulously.

“Yeah. Is it on paper? In a computer? How was it written? With letters or is it an audiobook?” Justin began drifting in his thoughts, trying to understand them more than he was trying to convince Clara.

“When stories come to life, they don’t have bodies. They’re just dreams, at first. That’s why there are letters. They’re the gateway to a world that previously only existed in the author’s brain. When stories come to life, it’s harder, because certain elements can come out, but if it’s the whole story, it’s a whole world within our own. So, in order for them to live without destroying everything around them, they must stay in the bodies provided for them. The books, the pages, the letters.”

He stood from the chair as he continued. “You see, they stand, and look around. They stretch and yawn in such a strange way because they don’t have arms… or legs. Their form is created by the letters. But they have to maintain their order, or the story is lost. It’d be a mixed alphabet. See them… they come to us now… Look at them… They want to say hello. But… Some are not so nice. You see, some are darker genres than others. It’s not their fault. They just… they have a natural inclination to attack.”

“Justin! Make them stop!”

Justin opened his eyes to see three little paperback books trying to kick at Clara’s shins. They didn’t have legs, just like he said. Instead, they were wiggling and hitting her with the corners of their covers. The pages swung and closed to create the desired movement.

“It worked! It worked!” Justin cried, dancing in a circle around the room.

Clara curled into a tight ball on Justin’s bed. “Yeah, it worked! Now get them to stop!”


This story is a continuation of “The Door of Nowhere,” which can be found in Adventuring Together: A Flash Fiction Anthology, Season One. You can read this collection for free and learn more about Justin and Clara’s friendship. Download now from Amazon or Nook.

And don’t forget to sign up for my monthly newsletter to receive exclusive content and coupons. The first email is set to be sent out on August 24th!

Just a Little Stressed

What do you do when you’re stressed? How do you feel? Does it affect the way you think about and handle things, or does it target your body in odd ways? This is something I deal with a lot as a human being, and if you’re a human being you know what I mean. Today I’m going to talk about what’s been stressing me, how it affects me, and what I’ve tried to do to mitigate it. After you read, I want you to share what you do to mitigate stress. I’d love to hear what you have to say.

So, what’s been stressing me? Lots of things. For one, I started a new job last week. The week before that, my dad was in the hospital with a severe infection (he’s doing better by the way). And all summer I’ve been trying to get back into writing and building a business from it. That’s not even to mention trying to maintain a social life, family dynamics, self-care; the list goes on. Some of these are wonderful things (like writing), and some not so nice things, but that doesn’t mean they don’t all cause stress.

Photo by cottonbro studio on Pexels.com

The funny thing is, they each stress me differently. When my dad was in the hospital, I couldn’t focus, on almost anything. I mostly played computer games that week because I couldn’t formulate my own words for writing, I couldn’t comprehend words for reading, and what little mental capacity I had I needed to use it to talk to doctors and nurses. Ever since then, I’ve had to catch up on everything.

Sometimes the stress manifests itself physically. I can have ankle cramps, trouble speaking, or drop things randomly. Having Cerebral Palsy makes these problems worse, and can even disguise the stress as simple CP flare-ups. It can be hard to identify a headache as being related to stress if you already have them because of your disability. Sometimes stress can manifest as a stomach ache. That’s especially hard to identify. Anything can cause your stomach to be unhappy. Usually, I figure these things out when they go on for a while, and I experiment with different remedies, or when the stressor disappears and my physical problem goes with it.

So, what do I do when I realize I’m stressed? Well, I kind of experiment. The situation with my dad couldn’t be changed, and I had to learn to be patient with myself. My body was more than happy to remind me I needed naps as much as my dad. I had to tell myself my writing would still be there when I was ready for it, and that I would be able to catch up. I had to remember why I was stressing, and that anyone would struggle with the situation.

Photo by Ali Arapou011flu on Pexels.com

There are times I can do nothing to change or help a stressful situation, and I have to first identify that I can do nothing, then I have to let go of it. When I was in school and living away from home, one of our family cats got sick. I could do nothing about it except pray. I felt far away and helpless. I had to realize that my parents were doing everything they could to help our kitty⸺they took him to the vet, gave him medicine, etc. I had to release the worry and give it to God, which is easier said than done. It’s a test of faith and trust, being okay with the outcome He might allow, which is stressful in itself. Deep breathing and praying, while visualizing the stress leaving my body, are all ways I do this. I admit, I don’t do it as often as I should, but it does help.

Then there are the few things in life that I can control, like my author’s business. When I feel overwhelmed by all the things I need to do and the time I have to do them in, I have to back up, take a deep breath, and get out my tools. For me, these tools are my notebooks, which I use to brainstorm ideas, action steps, timelines, etc.; my whiteboard, where I’m free to visually sketch outlines and calendars without worrying about using up precious paper or being unable to erase something (I don’t like pencils for writing because I feel like I have to press them harder on the paper, which causes hand cramps. Markers glide easily, and my brain can’t jive with computers as easily); and the internet, where I can look up answers to questions, look at my stories or website and see what I’m missing. When I slow down and work on what I can control, the stress turns to anticipation for the execution of the plan.

Speaking of plans, I have exciting news! I am launching a monthly newsletter on August 24th! I will continue to use WordPress, Instagram, and Facebook, but with a newsletter, I won’t have to rely on social algorithms to get all my latest writing updates into your newsfeed. I can deliver everything straight to your inbox where you can look at it anytime you want and know it’s there. But that’s not the only benefit you’ll get from signing up for my newsletter. You’ll also get exclusive updates and special offers on my published books. And, on October 21st, you will get a free download of A Week In Galerod! If you would like these benefits, sign up for my newsletter here!

Because of the newsletter, I’m changing up my WordPress schedule a little bit. You’ll still get a blog post on the second Thursday of the month, but short stories will be posted the third Thursday, and the newsletter will be sent out the fourth Thursday to recap the month and preview the next one. I’m so excited to be expanding my business like this. It has been a little stressful, but I think it will be worth it. Did I mention it’s free to subscribe?

That’s all I have for you today. I’m so glad you stopped by. Please, leave a comment about the kind of stress you’re dealing with and how you’re working through it. I’d love to learn from you!

Until next time,

-Beth

Mid-Summer Update

Hello, everyone! I had planned to post a short story for y’all yesterday, but I’ve been super busy with a family medical problem that I didn’t get the story ready for reading. I apologize for the missed month, but there just won’t be one this time.

I plan to get back on track next week. I will have a blog and a story for the month of August, plus we will be releasing Adventuring Together: A Flash Fiction Anthology, Season Four for free download on August 14th! Be watching for updates here and on Instagram and Facebook.

While you wait, why not take a look at these awesome authors and their books, as well as read our previous anthologies? I’ll see you around the web!

Other Adventuring Together Anthologies:

S.R. Nulton is having a sale on her latest novel, Lake Locked this weekend! Be sure to check it out and her other amazing stories!

Check out these other amazing authors!

And one more thing, K. M. Shea is having her annual Shea-Con on Discord this weekend! Join me in games and listening to panels. You don’t want to miss it! You can find out all the details here!

Until next time!

-Beth